everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
