what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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