my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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