I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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