i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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