Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize