Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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