I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
