He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
