best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
