Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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