I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
