My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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