For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
