I heard we made out
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
