Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
