you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
