I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
