Jerry, you need to find god
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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