whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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