gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
