But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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