I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
