I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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