I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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