It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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