So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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