Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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