There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
