I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
