remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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