Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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