"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize