I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
