Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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