The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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