More tranny stories later!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
