Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
