my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
