I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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