dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
