i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
