Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
