I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
