HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize