do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
