Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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