Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
