Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
