Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
