She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
