now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
