OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize