You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
