she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
