i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Say something about gay babies.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
