nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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